First of all, let me apologize for the amount of time that has passed since my last blog post. It’s been a crazy month or two since I got home from my surgery. I’ve been mostly catching up with work that I missed while I was away. I even traveled a few times for work which was quite the adventure after a double mastectomy. This post is not really about my experience with surgery or anything, which will come later, but just some general thoughts and feelings I have this time of year.
So here we are toward the end of October and I just haven’t been able to bring myself to sit down and write anything. Yes, this month is Breast Cancer Awareness, but it also means so much more to me than just the pink ribbon. This is such a wonderful time of the year. The weather starts to cool off (well usually… thanks global warming), tailgating, the fair, pumpkin spice lattes and birthdays for some of my most favorite individuals, including my mother. But since my mother was born and passed away in the month of October, it seems this is the time when I miss her the most.
I try hard to forget details about that day, in the middle of October, five years ago. Things like being sleep deprived, not changing clothes for two days or even shower for four days. I do remember struggling to pick out my mother’s outfit for her funeral and thinking how truly unprepared and unqualified I was to be doing something like that. I remember thinking I have no training to pick out the clothes in which someone is going to be buried. I felt as if I was having one of those experiences where you are watching your life play out in a movie, it felt like a very cruel joke.
Another memory I have is sitting on the front porch of my house a couple of hours after my mom passed away. It was a gorgeous day, leaves turning, chilly in the shade but perfect in the sun. I sat there, sun shining on my face, for what seemed like hours. I think it’s one reason why when we have a beautiful, crisp, sunny fall day in October, it takes my breath away in both good and bad ways.
My mom and I loved decorating for fall. We would buy pumpkins, large pots of mums, hay bales, gourds, and sometimes even corn stalks (yeah we were those people). We lived in an old historical neighborhood that was often part of home tours during the fall and holiday months. It was so funny because it seemed like every year we would be out in our sweats decorating the front porch when the trolleys would drive down our street for the tour. We used joke with each other that we were just a part of the tour showing real people doing everyday tasks. I haven’t been able to bring myself to decorate for fall since. I have good intentions every year, and even got pretty excited about it this year, but I still haven’t done any decorating.
This year was the fifth anniversary of my mother’s death. My father and I light a 24-hour candle every year on the day of her passing. The idea was introduced to us by a dear family friend who shared this from Jewish tradition. It’s called a Yahrzeit candle or “soul candle” that mourners light on the anniversary of an individual’s death. Although my father and I are not Jewish, we loved the idea and felt like it’s a great way to honor her in a way we feel like she would appreciate. This year I was out of town, so my wonderful husband lit the candle for me and sent a picture.
As October comes to a close, I think it’s important to remember that although this month is mostly known for Breast Cancer Awareness there are also about 20 other causes recognized in October, such as National Down Syndrome Awareness, National Domestic Violence Awareness, and Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness. What I have come to learn is everyone has a cause they are passionate about, everyone has a story and everyone has something they battle. More than likely this battle has changed them, whether they are vocal about it or not. Whatever your passion or cause, I encourage you to do your homework and make sure the organization you support really is benefiting the cause you care about. I was asked several weeks ago to put together a list of some of my favorite Breast Cancer Organizations; you can see the list I came up with below.
Nationally:
Bright Pink- Focused on preventing breast and ovarian. Their main mission is education.
https://www.brightpink.org/
National Breast Cancer Coalition
They have a mission of eradicating breast cancer by January 2020
www.breastcancerdeadline2020.org
FORCE- Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered.
Dedicated to fighting hereditary cancer. Amazing resources to help women navigate surgery options and understanding what it means to have a genetic risk.
www.facingourrisk.org
Young Survivor Coalition
Dedicated to helping young women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer. Most of the people they help are under the age of 35.
https://www.youngsurvival.org
Locally:
Oklahoma Project Woman — they help provide free mammograms, diagnostic procedures and surgical services for Oklahoman’s of any age without insurance and limited financial resources.
http://www.oklahomaprojectwoman.org/
